


Human night

by unknownlifeform



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Aerith Gainsborough angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Non-Explicit Sex, but i borrowed a bit of remake aerith's characterization, set in the original timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknownlifeform/pseuds/unknownlifeform
Summary: There are nights when Aerith resents her heritage. Nights when she's tired of the Planet and the messages she sends her. Nights when she'd like to just be human.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Human night

**Author's Note:**

> Things I like: Aerith angst, Aerti  
> Logical conclusion: write Aerti flavored angsty Aerith character study

Aerith woke up with a choked gasp.

The moonlight filtered through the window. The silver shine didn't help chase the fear away. There was no moon in the slums. Its light was different than flickering lampposts or buzzing neon signs. It was eerie and cold. Somehow unnatural to Aerith, used as she was to artificial lights.

A Cetra who was disturbed by something as natural as moonlight. There was a joke there somewhere.

Some days, Aerith resented the Planet. She loved her, because how could she not? There were flowers, and animals, and people all living on this Planet. Aerith couldn't not love her.

But Aerith hated the Planet too.

She was tired of waking up at night, flashes of dreams she never fully recalled. The nightmares slipped from her mind like water. All they left was a pressure on Aerith's sternum that was not quite fear. It was deep, a ghost of a feeling Aerith never wanted to feel.

Aerith thought she had figured out what the Planet tried to tell her with those dreams.

She would not hesitate to die for the Planet, if it came down to it. Death didn't scare her. It was one of the few things her mother had been able to teach her before passing. Death was a mere passage. The Cetra didn't fear it, because they knew they would rejoin the bliss of the Lifestream.

But Aerith wasn't just a Cetra. She didn't remember her father, but she knew he had been human. And her mother – Elmyra – was human as well, and she had raised her daughter the way a human mother raises a human child.

It wasn't that being human changed Aerith's resolve. Hadn't she been a Cetra, she would have still embarked on this journey, because it was the right thing to do. Fighting against Shinra, against Sephiroth and against that thing he called his mother, it was what had to be done. Cloud, Tifa, Barret, they were all willing to lay down their lives for the Planet. Because it was necessary. And they were all human.

Aerith sat up on her bed. She shivered as the covers fell from her body. Cosmo Canyon became surprisingly cold at night, and Aerith had gone to sleep in her underwear.

The fear seemed to have coalesced in a weight in Aerith's throat that made itself more and more insistent. It choked her breath and made tears pool in her eyes.

It just wasn't fair.

Aerith would have never skirted her duties towards the Planet or her inhabitants. Cetra or not, she'd do whatever needed to be done.

But _why_ did she have to _know?_ Why did the Planet have to send her these dreams?

Aerith wanted to  _hope_ . She wanted to make plans about the future the way her friends did. All of them knew that they could die, but they could also keep hope that it wouldn't happen. Except Aerith.

Maybe the Planet thought it would be better if Aerith was prepared for her death. Maybe knowing in advance would make it easier to face it when it happened. It didn't make Aerith feel better now.

It was so ironical that people seemed to think the Cetra were free. Most of what was known was that they were a nomadic, wandering people, and the average person regarded the Ancients as some kind of hippies. Free to do and go wherever they wanted, without ties.

It was humans who were free. Free to drain the Planet's mako dry, feel to pump others full of of strange stuff just to see what happened, free of choosing for what they were going to die. Maybe those choices were all just lies. Maybe there was a predestined path for them as well, and in the end they were all just doing what the Planet wanted them to. But at least they had that illusion.

Aerith had never had that kind of freedom. Be it because she was a Cetra, or because she was locked in a laboratory, or because there were Turks always camped outside her front door. She wouldn't know what to do with freedom if it were given to her. She'd stumble through it the way she had ended up trailing behind her friends as they escaped Midgar. They had known how to avoid holes hidden under tall grass or when the sun was too strong to walk without getting a heatstroke. Aerith hadn't even known how to deal with the rain, the first time it had caught them.

However, there were times when whatever human DNA Aerith had managed to claw its way through everything else. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to rid them of their shakiness.

Why couldn't she get a choice too? Why couldn't she control her own life the way everyone else on the Planet did?

Here in Cosmo Canyon, Aerith heard her well. In Midgar, the Planet was muted – maybe all those mako reactors were enough to silence her. In the desert, far from any Shinra reactor, the Planet was so loud. She screamed at Aerith for help, strong enough that it was almost impossible to tune her out entirely. Only once Sephiroth was stopped would her shouts grow quieter.

Admitting Aerith would live long enough to see it happen.

"Aerith?"

Damn. Aerith had thought she had kept her sobs quiet.

There was rustling from the other side of the room, where Tifa's bed was. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine," Aerith said.

"You're crying."

Aerith swallowed, trying to keep her breathing steady.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tifa asked.

"It was just a bad dream."

"You know you can tell me anything, right? That's what fr... that's what I'm here for."

Aerith didn't miss the way Tifa skipped over the word friends. Aerith wasn't sure whether friends was the right word for them now. They were not... not-friends. And some friends also had sex with each other, sometimes. It didn't change their relationship. But adding sex could also mean something else entirely.

It wasn't as if they had sat down and talked about it. It had just happened. They were running from the corporation that owned half the world and hunting down a maniac who wanted to destroy it, they didn't have time to properly date or define a new relationship. Just enough for slipping in each other's bed, trying to keep the noises down so that the others wouldn't hear.

Aerith wouldn't have minded taking Tifa on a date, one day. Maybe Tifa thought the same. Maybe she was already planning the way to ask Aerith out once they were granted some peace.

Aerith didn't feel that she had that luxury.

"Thank you," Aerith said. It was true that Tifa would listen to anything, but Aerith didn't think she could ever truly understand. How does one even begin to explain what it was like to have the weight of an entire civilization on their shoulders.

"You've just looked a little off lately."

Aerith wouldn't deny that. She knew she had been closed off since coming to Cosmo Canyon. The Elders had told her many things, and only now Aerith felt she understood what her role was.

She had been so caught up in her thoughts she hadn't even paid any attention to Tifa when they had gone to sleep.

Tifa was sitting up in bed as well. It was hard for Aerith to see much more than her silhouette, but she could imagine her just fine, down to the concerned expression she was without doubts wearing.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Tifa asked.

She didn't. Aerith didn't think she'd be able to fall asleep again now. If she did, she may have the same dream again. Or maybe another, no less terrifying one.

"I think I should... get distracted."

"Maybe it would be for the better, yeah. Do you need anything?"

Tifa was always so generous when it came to offering her help. She was always the first to check on others. It was if she wouldn't be happy unless everyone else around her was happy too.

Aerith admired that. However, she also thought sometimes Tifa should stop and think of herself first. It wasn't good to always be on the lookout for other people's needs while ignoring your own.

Right now, Tifa should sleep. They didn't have many occasions to lie in a bed and spend the whole night without worrying about a possible attack. Tifa should enjoy the night, not stay up because of Aerith.

But Aerith... Aerith felt selfish tonight. She felt human. Even if her life was not entirely her own, she would get all she could from it.

"Maybe you can help me," she said, throwing her legs off the side of the bed.

"I can?"

"Mm." Aerith stood, crossing the small distance that separated them. Her body blocked out the moonlight like this, casting shadows over Tifa. "I need something that will cheer me up."

"Anything," Tifa breathed.

Aerith brushed her fingers down the side of Tifa's face. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course."

Of course she did. Tifa was always ready to give her everything when it came to making others feel better. She did it because that was the way she chose to be. Not because it was her duty to bleed herself out, if that was what the Planet demanded.

Aerith pushed Tifa down on bed, climbing to straddle her thighs. Her lips slammed against Tifa's with more force than Tifa probably expected, because Tifa let out a surprised sound at the sudden insistence.

Aerith kissed Tifa like she was trying to devour her. Steal some of her humanity, some of that freedom. She hoped her lips didn't taste like tears.

Tifa's hands on Aerith's waist burnt compared to the cold night air. She was always so warm, like a furnace. Whenever they had to share a bed Aerith would always put her cold feet on Tifa's legs, and Tifa always laughed and tried to escape. It was silly in a way that was almost domestic, even if there was nothing domestic about their situation and maybe there would never be-

And Aerith was thinking again. Bad. She snuck a hand inside Tifa's shirt. Tifa always took off her bra before bed, Aerith had learnt. She said she couldn't sleep with it on. It was awfully convenient, because it made it so easy for Aerith to play with her breasts.

Tifa broke away from the kiss with a gasp, and Aerith almost kissed her again out of instinct, just to swallow that sound. But they weren't in a tent, right now, with barely any privacy. The room had solid rock walls, and no one would notice some chocked moans and heavy breathing.

And Aerith needed to hear. She bit Tifa's neck, maybe a bit too harshly. If she left a mark and the others saw they'd be made fun of for a week. Not that Aerith cared. If anything, Tifa's embarrassed blush was pretty enough for Aerith to put up with any teasing they may receive.

She did it again. Tifa whimpered. Aerith took her nipple between her finger, pinching it lightly, trying to get more of the moans. They sounded so sweet. They drowned out the Planet's cries so well. It was impossible for Aerith to think of all the other voices when Tifa's gasps were so close to her ears.

Tifa, Tifa, Tifa. That was what Aerith had to focus on. The scent of her skin and the sound of her voice. Her hand buried in Aerith's hair. Aerith was the one making her fall apart this way. She was the one who had the power to make Tifa lose her mind. At least this, this Aerith could have some control over.

Tifa was just starting to get wet when Aerith snuck her hand in her panties. She went straight to business, not wasting time with teasing. Aerith knew how Tifa liked it by now, she had learnt just the way to move her fingers to make Tifa lose it.

"Aerith!"

Her name sounded so good when it fell from Tifa's lips.

"Aerith, Aerith-"

"What is it?"

Tifa raised her hips to meet Aerith's motions. "I'm going to-"

"Come?" Aerith finished. "For me?"

"For you."

For her. For Aerith. For the half human girl still trying not to shed tears against the skin of Tifa's neck.

The moan Tifa made as she came was muffled, as if she were biting her lip to keep it in. She did so often. Aerith always scolded her for it, saying Tifa was going to hurt herself. Tifa always replied that if Aerith was so concerned about Tifa's lips, she should be one to stop biting them.

Aerith tucked her face against Tifa's throat as Tifa's back arched with pleasure. What she'd give to know exactly what Tifa felt for her. But maybe it was better left unsaid. It would hurt less, if things were destined to end how Aerith suspected.

In another world, maybe they could make plans. Dates to go on, places to see, things to do. They could have talked of the new bar Tifa planned to build, and Aerith could say that she'd love to live next to it, so that she and Tifa could see each other the whole time.

But Cetra were nomads. It was humans who had dreams of settling down permanently with a roof over their heads and a yard to tend to.

Half-humans weren't human enough to get that luxury.


End file.
